NORBYGRAM: December 2012

12 BEST SONGS OF MY 2012

Rough and crazy - this is how I would describe my year.

Along with the rocky edges I've been through, I have also noticed that my taste of music expanded. If before I was so stuck with Pop and Mainstream music, 2012 found me under the roofs of different music genres. I introduced myself to Contemporary Jazz. I digged deeper into Indie Pop. I felt born again with Rock. I grown into a more serious "Country" boy. And I realized that soulful music is still the soul of my soul.

With the aid of my mobile browser, I was able to download all songs that came into my attention - those that were on Hot Billboard 100, iTunes Charts, Music Blog Updates, suggested by friends, and those that I found through serendipity. They were the products of hours I couldn't judge as wasted. I was browsing, busy downloading songs at times when I was supposed to eat, to sleep, to hang out with friends and on top of it all, when I should have been studying. Reckless, I know. But I couldn't do much about it. It's my life. Not doing it is suicide.

So here's my 12 MOST PLAYED SONGS of 2012. Not all songs in this list are released in 2012. Some of them, you might have been listening for months already too.

12. IMAGINE DRAGONS - "It's Time" -

The band's Vocalist that effortless shouts the words of the song but is still pleasant to the ear. The country-ish instruments and the "homecoming" feel of the song. And the lyrics, of course, that speak of intrapersonal honesty. This is an anthem for love of self. No one will dislike the song at first listening.

11. KE$HA - "Crazy Kids"

It's one of the only 2 uptempo, club-banger songs that made my list. My heart of groove belongs to Kesha. Her new album warrior, I enjoy listening to it than any other album in its league. And Crazy Kids, with its whistles and hooking chorus, has been an alarm and wake up song of the last quarter of my year.

10. ELLIE GOULDING - "Anything Could Happen (Acoustic Version)"

I found it hard at first to appreciate the song. But eventually, I figured out why. Its lyrics are extremely figurative and beautifully poetic. Its "Illuminated" love story-inspired music video cemented my fondness of the song. When I heard its unplugged version, I kept playing the acoustic for over a week in my phone.

9. DAVID GUETTA feat. SIA - "Titanium"

I heard this one before but it didn't ring any musical bell. Not until Beatrice Miller sang it in Britney's Home in The X Factor. I realized that this empowering song deserves much attention. Sia's voice and David Guetta's beats make this phenomenonal!

8. ED SHEERAN - "Autumn Leaves"

Fine. Hands-down. I know that Ed is best known with his other song, The A Team. But for me, Autumn Leaves is his real crowning glory. Ed Sheeran is a musical genius. No doubt. This song, with its musicality, poetry and cuddling tune, is Ed's masterpiece.

7. ALLIE MOSS - "Corner"

I have read on the net that Ingrid Michaelson's lead guitarist is a woman who sings as well. I digged her up and realized that I like her better than Ingrid. This song, Corner, proves that less words in a song can't overweigh the greatness of its melody. Hats off Allie!

6. MAROON 5 - "Sad"

I wanna say less about this song. This is the most painful Maroon 5 song ever. This stands out in their album Overexposed. And for the first time, I appreciated Adam Levine's fragile side vocally and his sincerity.

5. CARRIE UNDERWOOD - "Blown Away"

When the dormitory hears this song playing in the hallways, everyone knows it's me playing it. I play this song everyday. I have influenced others to like this song. And they all know how attached I am to my favorite country singer.

4. BOYS LIKE GIRLS - "Be Your Everything"

It's the song of my sem break. Listening to it gives me back nostalgic feelings - those tunes that remind me of my high school. And Boys Like Girls really never fail to make some very, very good music.

3. ONE DIRECTION - "Little Things"

Never had I thought that I would be a fan of 1D. Ed Sheeran, by writing this song, pushed me to conclude that this boyband's got some serious thing going on. This is their best song to date for me. Everytime I hear this, I stop and think.

2. P!NK feat. NATE RUESS of fun. - "Just Give Me A Reason"

I went on rage on Twitter and Facebook shouting out this song's lyrics and epicness. It made me excited thinking about what product Pink and Fun. would make. And this song, with its beat, strong words, and stellar vocals. Oh, just give me a reason.

1. SARA BAREILLES - "Gravity"

I don't know what to say, really. This song is a perfection for me. This skyrocketed as my 2nd most favorite song of all times. "You hold me without touch. You keep me without chains", what a beautiful irony imbued in one of the best piano-laden ballads in history. No one can hold back the irresitible vocals of the holy Sara Bareilles.

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GRAVITY

norbert gastardo germano 2:57:00 PM

December 22, 2012

Being left alone is one of the scenes I never would want to be in. When you’re all alone, it seems like you do whatever it is that strikes your mind. In my case, multiple things strike my head but I feel like freezing every time I decide to do any of them. Anywhere I look right now is familiar places but not familiar faces. It’s weird that it’s my last Christmas break in college yet I am the last one to go home. Well I think it is just complementary for me to be left behind because it won’t be too long for me to do the same – for good. I keep on listening to Sara Bareilles’ “Gravity” on repeat right now. This room is already cleaned up and fixed. I am battling with the sunrays that hit my eyes. I am suppressing some old emotions inside me. The year is about to end and still, I don’t want to close this chapter of my life yet. 2012, how can you be so perfectly bittersweet?

I have lived this year like the way I am writing this one right now. I don’t care if I go wrong. I know that I already committed grammatical errors or even misspelled some words. Still, I continue and refuse to correct them. It’s very comforting to watch this paper clean despite my scrawled handwriting. I do not want to see the bad side of things. Because when I do, I get stuck with it like a little kid who cannot get over easily with his lost toy. If some people drink, smoke, sketch, dance, sleep or party when there is something heavy on their hearts, this is my version of that – writing. It is my first resort, my primary outlet, and my way of making my heart and soul meet. Add to this moment the impatient sunrays that sift through these dusty jalousies beside me. You have no idea how peace, sweetness and pain are all racing down to the veins in my right hand competing for words that I should write first. I am calling this a classic afternoon – an afternoon I own on my own.

As the last days of this year are ending fast, I thought of writing something like this again just the way I did few years back. As you can notice, one sentence of this piece may not conform with or is not coherent with the rest of the other sentences. Some paragraphs may be purely boring or flat. This is exactly how write-ups like this should go – unedited, less artistic and defiantly personal. This is more of an entry in a diary rather than an essay you pass to your teacher at school. Going back to what I mentioned, I am writing this one as a recap of my entire year. The moments of triumphs and miseries of these past twelve months are what I want to relive as I trip down the memory lane. But as unpredictable as I am, I won’t focus on my 2012 events. Instead, I want to write this more about the people who left some marks on my incredible year. Some of them may not even know that they did something to me.

First on the list is Sir Ron. If someone would ask me about a person who comes first in my mind when I hear the word “academics”, it is no other than Sir Ron (the image is Sir Ron sitting on his table in the middle of the class checking our exams and with a sinister smile that will make anyone guilty). His existence constantly reminds me of how I should fix my already screwed-up school life. I admit that at first, I hated all the way to my bones all those nonstop quizzes and exams he’s given us for almost two semesters now. But lately, I just feel that I am really fortunate to have someone like him who involuntarily nags me and tells me to push hard (not “harder” because I’m not pushing yet.) his presence is supposed to boldly tell me that I have to star to chase while I am just lying squarely on my bed watching it and not doing anything. I hope 2013 will be different. I hope I will be different.

Second is Poop Jeffrey. He is still the kid that I am most comfortable with here in the campus. Though he doesn’t talk a lot, he listens so much. It’s the best thing about him that hasn’t changed at all. It is the reason why I always confide to him even the pettiest things that I have known, heard or discovered. It feels like he’s always interested to listen in every word I say. I wish everyone is like that. He is someone who I want to talk to when everyone around me seems far. I just can’t live without his small but undying patronage. It’s like he knows that I am already a grown-up lamb but he knows that I am without a shepherd so I can still get lost and I need guidance. That is just so adorable that someone younger than you acts like someone who is older.

Third is Murshied. I remember him during my first few years in college but I just got actually close to him when I settled down here in RS. Murshied is someone who gives me fun and something to laugh about without him knowing it. He acts strange but in not in a bad way. He’s got these facial and verbal expressions that last on my head for weeks. He’s one of the softest and gentlest men I know in terms of personality and body language. No further explanation is really needed for that. Murshied is brilliant. When he’s around, especially when he becomes silent and read books prepping for a quiz show, I love even more joining the quiz show. I really am so grateful that I have someone like him in a circle. He’s already entertaining when he acts naturally.

Fourth is Poop Papay. She keeps on saying to me that she really likes my personality, the way I act and how I deal with other people. Knowing this one in a latent way may have been the reason why she has been of very big help to me. I owe her more than she knows. She becomes more worried when I tell her all my problems. She doesn’t cease on sending me messages and talking to me especially when my world is closing in. She even gave me a birthday present. As per my official remembered record, it was the first non-food gift I have ever received for my birthday. I never thought that I had to turn 21 before someone hands me something that is wrapped and is meant to surprise. I enjoy seeing Papay too. Though she’s really different, I feel like she has been my sister forever – tiny little sister that is too caring.

Fifth is Sandee. I first met her during AYLC last February but we didn’t quite have the chance to know each other. But when I went to Cebu for Aboitiz, that’s when I realized how big of a loss it was for me not to stick around her. She is so cool, jolly and understanding. She is someone who I think has a great balance of school and non-academic struggles. I can hardly name a national program or event for college leaders that she hasn’t been able to join. She’s very straightforward, honest and accommodating. I know she’ll be someone big so I want to spend more time with her right now while she’s still halfway her diamond path.

Sixth comes Jireh. He’s an old friend. I used to know him as the guy with the curly hair who never missed watching TV every night way back when we were still residing in RD. When I moved to RS, he also moved out of RD and spent his last semester in college in a place in the campus I could hardly locate. I’m bad with geography, I know. But our common denominator still remains – pop culture and entertainment. When we crossed paths just months ago and when I had realized that he still replies using his old digits, the endless talks about movies, novels and TV series started all over again. Jireh has no idea how all of those updates he keeps on giving me namely X Factor US, The Vampire Diaries, Nikita, Glee and Revenge are relieving me from both my real and fictional stress in school. Now that my internet-connected phone is gone, Jireh’s help is keeping me sober in this modern age.

Seventh is Danilo. I don’t know how we ended up with the endearment “Pawps”. All I know is that this kid is really different from what other people say he is. I honestly have heard a lot of things and issues they throw to him and I still haven’t bumped into a major manifestation with any of them. Dan is actually someone who doesn’t care much about other people’s opinion. It is upon these rebellious tendencies of him that I take pleasure in witnessing. I know that sometimes I don’t make sense and often I show my weaknesses when I go all out. Dan has been there constantly asking about what I have been up with. He reminds me of those younger generations I will leave behind when I graduate. But with someone as clever as this kid is, everything’s going to be good.

Eight is Jenica. She is actually my first female friend from ADMU. I would say that getiing to know her is one of the highlights of my Cebu trip for the 7^th Aboitiz FBLS. Her Instagram photos, Twitter and Facebook updates cannot hide how fortunate her life is. What I am most amazed of however is the fact that she is still down-to-earth amidst everything. She is so harmless. So gentle and so intelligent. She has this amazing personality which you would not find in all other well-to-do ladies out there. And for the record, she is one of the very few people I know who don’t eat meat. She said it is because of environment lessons. She is literally a Cinderella meets Mother Earth. And she’s harmless – I’d reiterate. I don’t need to say more.

Ninth is Rowen. Including him in this list is something I would never do had I decided to write this a year ago. Everyone close to me knows I had a bad history with him. And when I say bad, I am referring to rocky roads, rough edges and messy undertakings. Rowen is someone who I used to label as my “most favourite kid”. Of all people I met on this university, I would conclude that he has the strangest blend of the best and worst personalities. I’d say that his light side is what kept us close two years ago. I had so much fun watching him do things I never thought he would do and I enjoyed everything there is that he did. I knew him as someone who was so disciplined, honest and full of respect most kids of our generation do not possess anymore. With just one small mistake, everything in me that involved him went down the sink. I am paranoid and my worst fear is rejection. That one year of no talks and no interactions killed me. It changed me a lot especially with the way I treat my friends. But I guess my coming to RS has been the sign for a change of pace. I never thought that I could and would be spending mornings rolling in the bed and talking about funny things with him. I know that a lot has changed and some things just cannot be just the way they were before. Though I am still uncomfortable with him not calling me “Kuya” and I am still irritated when he picks on me unlike anything he’s done two years ago, I thank God for sending him back. He may be the best friend I never had but he will remain as one of the people who became closest to me. It is something always worth-remembering.

Lastly, there’s Jay. The most childish kid I met is the one who also made me realize how childish I am myself. Spending a semester as roommates, I knew him in a considerable depth. I learned what his wants, dreams and aspirations are. I got to know what makes him happy and what pisses him off so bad. I could say that the annoying and childish parts of him are what other people notice first about him. I, however, was lucky enough to have experienced his selfless side. He was so selfless that it was me who became selfish. We bonded like brothers, given the fact that I do not have a biological one. But lately, it must have sucked a lot for him. I treated him like someone so insignificant. Since I transferred to another dorm, I became bitter and annoying to him. I guess it’s what others do not know about me. When I nag and pick on people, I don’t always mean harm to them. In the contrary sometimes, it is my way of showing them how much I care. It is sometimes a channel of my being sorry for not being able to be with them on moments I regret not having a part with. He is patient, I couldn’t disagree to that. But his patience has somewhat reached a point of no return after all my frustrations, anxieties and disappointments were poured heavily on him. I did it since we were that close and I thought that he would understand. I was wrong and I admit I was so mean. I verify my mistakes. I have done, undisputedly, a lot of unforgivable sins. Though I hate people who refuse to greet me on my birthday though they know it, I think I can forgive him for not doing so. This period in my life made me realize that I should be more sensitive with others’ feelings no matter how sure I am of them. And some people are not really good with forgiveness. Jay is just the perfect example. I pray for things to be back the way they were or at least become normal. And I think, with all my might, that I really should keep praying.

My 2012 is yet my best year in terms of the diversity of the events I witnessed and people who came and went in my life. Some would say that I am blessed while I say that a part of me is cursed. I confess that friendships are my weakness, rejection is my greatest fear and loneliness kills me. But when I have people who love me unconditionally and true friends around, all the years of my life will never be years of regrets. I just feel sorry that sometimes I commit awful mistakes, cross boundaries unintentionally, and become unnoticeably selfish. There are just some parts of me that may hurt – some things that may never change. And for those people who still accept me back with open arms, saying words of how grateful I am for your presence will never be enough. Nor will actions suffice everything. I just wish that you would be part of my years until my last. Until gravity doesn't pull me back anymore.#

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12 BEST SONGS OF MY 2012

GRAVITY

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