[I remember writing this when I was 1st year College. Way too emtotinal, I wrote this one artlessly. But for the record, it's the first blog post I have made after High School. This is copied from a note on my Faceboo account.]

My fingers got tired of pressing the keypad of my two phones. It’s idling. No text messages seemed to arrive. I crisscrossed my arms and laid my head down. Facing the widely open window as the trees were dancing to the strange breath of the wind while the sun’s rays embraced them, I wondered why those little raindrops took their part on my vision. I change the music in my media player and the song “Who Am I”immediately stroke my ear. I drenched myself with the solitude and bewilderment. All that I want is just to find what was missing.

I always want to write but my indolence refrains me from achieving all those plans. It is really strange this time why I unnoticeably opened a notebook and started to engrave words in it. I might have just been triggered by my resonant depression or the feeling of emptiness I just feel
seldom. If I continue writing now, I may find solutions to my problems.

Restlessness kills me. I hate it every time I tuck myself in the bed then I would think about what others are doing. Realizing that they are busy, I can’t help but do something just to fulfil my anxiety. I walk, I talk, I sing, I read and I idle. What’s worst is that I can’t get something done. I always start but I don’t finish. Why do I let myself suffer? Why can’t I be who I want to be? I keep dragging those questions as I exist but I never provided my own mind an
answer.

I want to accomplish studying well my major subject (Accounting 121) but thoughts compel me to close the book and do something else. I just came from Mindnolia where I utilized my remaining minutes with Facebook and Friendster. Heck, the enjoyment was dead. It was like I resuscitated myself from an emotional imprisonment even if I know that it cannot be revived. My discontentment sucks. I abhor it.

People around me sustain my vigor but if they are not around, I become a headless walker- walking without any certain direction. First stop, Katrina’s busy and she is not replying my messages. Jordan’s out of the world. It seems like he doesn’t want to be disturbed (signed off). Paolo’s far. I don’t know why. Kuya Gege’s on his don’t-perturb-I’m-asleep mode. Kuya Goodie, Kuya Glimpse and Dann are not in the scenario. I don’t want to go to Kuya Moises right now either. Best place seems to be my bed. I have got loads on both cellphones (Globe & Smart) but the interest for texting is not there. This pencil’s mark on the paper is getting disappointing as time goes by.

Isn’t it a fantastic boredom? Can I freak out/ can I shout myself out? Can I cry myself out loud? “Norbert, you can’t!”a voice I heard while my eyes are closed. Maybe I should ponder on what Jenny advised that I should return to my inspiration to continue living furthermore. God, show me the way please. Yet for now, I will have to sleep and bring myself on. Be right back.#

ISA NA NAMAN ITONG TATAK NG AKING
PAGIGING SCHIZOPHRENIC..